The Story of Jawn & Pol
by Jawn Lennon Aid
Summary: Sorry this is not Across The Universe; I just don't know where else to put it. A little diddy of wack about if life had been different for some Beatles. This is the early days (You figure out exactly when). Rated M for a reason and if you can't deal with the idea of John and Paul being together now, you can *&%# off.
1. Preface

I don't own anything and none of this ever happened you see. It's only figments of your imagination (and mine) about what could have been…

The Story of Jawn & Pol

Once there was a grand hotel sitting on a cliff. Trapped within sat a very lonely little lad named Pol who fancied himself as a sweet innocent prince (not really, he just wished he could have been so some handsome knight in shining armor would come and rescue him from his hiding spot). The only way in or out of the room he was locked away in was a door facing the hall on the far side of the room. The key hole in the door was the only way to see in and so no one could see he was sitting inside (or so he thought).

That day Jawn was tired of the fucking bullshit of the day and happened along the hall. I heard a soft noise while walking along minding me own business so I stopped to have a look around and listened straining me ears to the faint sound of crying (I thought it was some bird gotten lost on our floor); it sounded a mixture of soft butterfly wings, a child weeping, and a flower waiting to bloom (true, that's why I thought it was some bird). What I caught a glimpse of was Paulie through the keyhole (Here was one of me best mates bawling his eyes out. I thought something had happened like his father died or some shit and then I was desperate to get inside to comfort him since I didn't have a father; and I liked Jim even if he thought I was a headache). I was instantly in love with this beautiful young prince I saw crying when he thought no one could see (I didn't understand that till a little later though).

I took it upon meself to beat the fucking door in (not easy since Paulie had locked it and then shoved a fucking chair against the door knob so that if someone did hear him they couldn't get in but he didn't reckon on me happening by) (by the by, hotel management doesn't like it when anyone destroys their property either) for this sweet beautiful creature no matter how hard it would be to reach him; such was my love. Finally, I managed to get the fucking door open surprised no one else in the place heard all the noise since I'd kicked the knob off and broke the chair, but then we had the whole floor. By the time this no good rat reached him Paulie was curled up in a corner on one side of the room and was just a complete mess and wouldn't look at me. Me the rat and lowlife I am sat on the edge of the bed not knowing what to say at first; I was dumb struck having never seen me mate like this before. Wits gathered together again I sat on the floor next to Paulie and wrapped an arm around him. Paulie to my surprise clung to me and sobbed into my chest not saying a word. Being a rat scoundrel I held him close and surprised meself again by telling Paulie everything he'd needed to hear from me; and slowly Paulie calmed down and fell fast asleep right there in me arms. The rat was suddenly fascinated by how soft Paulie's hair was and how he smelled and what the sound of his breath was like. The rat decided right there that Paulie was mine and that no one else was going to have him. I grabbed the blanket and pillow from the bed and covered Paulie with it, like I would have done for any little bird, and stayed there all night stroking his soft hair and touching his soft and sweet cherub face falling deeper and deeper with each passing hour and wondering what the fuck I'd gotten meself into. The rat finally fell asleep too with a happy smile and a much lighter heart and feeling like I'd never felt before but not before searching me heart for answers.

I wondered if this is what real love felt like. I cared about Cynthia, but this was fucking different. It was intense and burned. His fluttering eyes made me heart melt to a puddle. Before I fell asleep I kissed the top of his head and that surprised me again, I had never wanted to kiss a man before; but this was Paulie. The next day me arm was asleep and I woke up sore from leaning against the wall all night. I looked down and the messy heap in my arms was still sleeping. I felt eyes on me and slowly looked up to realize we had collected an audience, they looked only slightly surprised. I stared at them not blinking and I wondered what must be going through their minds and what they would say later. I whispered to them "don't tell a soul".

Ringo just smiled a bit and turned around and walked away. He never did say anything about it to Paulie who was still asleep in me arms. George just raised a brow, chuckled like, and said "your secret is my secret". Then he walked out mumbling "he suits ya John". He shut the door again which really didn't do much since I'd broken the knob off the night before.

The darling prince woke up after a while. He was enormously embarrassed by what had happened. He looked up at me with his huge eyes and tried to back away. I held him tight where he was. He whispered to please just let him go and forget it ever happened. I told him that wasn't possible for me anymore; I had actually meant the things I had said. He hung his head, I said "don't be that way". Then I stood up slowly not letting him go, though he was trying to get away. I moved over to the bed and sat him on the edge of it and took his shirt off and mine too and laid down and pulled him up on me chest. He asked what was I doing. I said "trying to sleep and since you made my night hell by sleeping on the floor you're going to pay for it by laying here next to me while I slept on something comfortable". He didn't fight it. We slept all the rest of the morning. Later I learned that everyone else was down on the beach below asking the fellas where we were. George told me they'd said we weren't going to be down today that we were working on stuff. They bought it. Paulie didn't weigh a whole lot, I didn't know that till then. It's amazing what you see once your eyes are open.

He was so fucking beautiful. Fuck, no wonder all the little girls wanted him. Fuck that, he was mine now. I'd beat the shit out of anyone who tried to touch him. Nobody was going to take him away from me, and yet there I was already married. That made everything I wanted hard, but I didn't care. He was sleeping on me; his cheek was on me bare chest. I couldn't tell you everything that went through my mind. I told him the night before that I'd give him anything he wanted, every little whim; I didn't care what it was so long as it made him happy. I told him how beautiful he was, and how his eyes made me heart melt just looking into them. I can't even remember everything I told him, whatever it took to stop him crying. It was breaking me heart listening to it and at the same time it was like something inside me was fixing itself.

When I woke up again the sun was high up in the sky and he was not next to me. Me heart jumped thinking he was gone; for the first time in me life I felt the first hint of panic. Right then and there I knew I was gone, I would never be the same. I found him sitting on the balcony looking out at the Med Sea. I guess he was probably trying to figure out how to pass off everything that had happened. No way I'm letting that happen. I went out on the balcony and sat down next to him. He didn't say anything, just sat staring with his typically lost expression. I swallowed me pride and leaned against him. I noticed he was crying again. I asked him, "what's wrong Paulie, what's making you cry?"

He whispered out "I love you John. I've always loved you, since I saw you at the concert that first time."

It had taken me all that time and everything we'd been through to figure out that I loved him too. I wiped me hands over his face and told him he looked a right mess and stop crying because he was going to make me cry again. I fished the comb out of me pocket and ran it through his hair. He just sat there and didn't move letting me do it. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

I stopped and sat just looking at him. It felt like me soul was smoldering. I realized I was right in his face instinctively going for a kiss. He looked like a deer before it's poached, probably expected me to yell in his face or something like I always did. I kissed him. Slow lingering and deep. I guess that was me reply. I could tell he wanted it so fucking bad too. He made this kind of high pitched whiny noise that I'd only heard from little girls up to that point; the sort of sound they make when you kiss them and they realize that you're a real person, not just a voice in a song. I guess he was afraid I would laugh and then reject him. He crumbled into me arms, I held him close and kept kissing him while we sat on the balcony in front of god and everybody and at that moment, I really didn't give a fuck. Thankfully nobody saw us. I woke out of the drugged up high affect he was having on me and drug him inside with me, back inside his little tower locked away from everyone's sight and had me way with him. He was like putty willing to do any fucking thing I wanted him to do. I'd seen girls do the same fucking thing for him and now here he was doing this and that for me. That was amazing I never felt so whole in me life.

Dusk was settling in and we'd just been laying there for a while completely naked and him on me chest. He was listening to me heartbeat. I heard his stomach growl loudly. I asked when he ate last yesterday. He said breakfast. Fuck he was pushing a day and a half not eating anything. No wonder he fucking feels underweight. I got up and slapped his ass as hard as I could. He actually let out this yelping sound that was sort of high pitched. It was cute. I wanted to hear him make that sound again sometime. I said "get up. I'm going to make sure you get a good dinner in you."

He half way frowned and said he didn't need me to buy him anything to eat. I told him "baby, I know that but I am going to give you everything. You're my beautiful prince even if I don't deserve you because I didn't realize things before now. But I'm going to take care of you from now on. Now get dressed you lazy git." He jumped up smiling seeing that some things were still the same between us. God he made me fucking smile.


	2. Part 1 Morning Food

A note from the rat

So now you have the preface. Here's the story behind it. You'll have to excuse me vulgarness I'm not a very posh person…

Part 1

Morning Food

The fellas and I had to get up at 6:30 to early because we were to be at a photo shoot. I don't get up well. The others will tell you that. I go from a rat to a foaming rabid dog sometimes. When the knock on the door came and I opened me eyes I could tell it would not be a very good day. I showered and got dressed and ran into George coming down the stairs with me. I wasn't hungry much. I never really was. We sat there in a meeting room waiting for the others. I had a scone with butter and currant jam. I don't know what George was eating on his. We just sat there in silence because it was too fucking early to be awake; I don't know about him but I'd only been sleeping about three hours.

Ringo came in and sat down in his usual cheerful mood. He picked up a full breakfast. George and I just shook our heads at him. I don't see how he could always just be the way he was. I glanced up as Paul came through the door with Neil. I could see something was bothering him. He wasn't smiling; normally Paul would put on a smile for public even if he wasn't in the mood to. He walked over to lean against the table I was sitting on. I asked "You okay?"

He nodded and mumbled "Yer I'm alright" and took the apple I handed to him.

I knew he was lying. George glanced at me and kind of shrugged like. We let it go at the time. If he wanted us to know he'd say something to us about it later. We all did that; talk about shit later if we were still hung on something. Besides, probably had something to do with the bird stormed out of his room the night before. They all want Paul, till they figure out how moody he can be.

Neil just stares at the lot of us. He knows none of us are in that great of a mood, except for Ringo. He shakes his head and sighs. He knows it'll be one of those days. I can tell the speech is coming. George frowns looking at Paul and I; we just look at Neil… wait for it…

"Look boys, I know it's early and none of you want to be here or go and have yer pictures taken. But, can you at least try and be civil? John, no snide remarks; Paul, no messing with people; George, no disappearing acts; Ringo… just be yerself and try not to let them drag you into anything."

And there it was. Ringo smiles, the rest of us just stare at Neil. He knows it isn't happening. The car finally gets there and we go out the back service door and get in it. Neil gets into the front with the driver; he's not risking it. We all just sit there silent except for Ringo's transistor radio. Paul has his head leaned against the window looking up at the sky day dreaming; or at least he always manages to look as if he's off in some faraway place. I envy him that. It's his way of escaping the drudge every day. George is reading some book was given to him. And I'm just trying not to let me bad mood slip any further. They all look to me; I do me best to take care of them and make this fucking thing work to our advantage but some days are just a drag.

We get out of the car and head inside this photography studio that looks like a broken down warehouse. Paul looks disgusted. I have to laugh. George could probably care less and as for me, I'm actually making a feeble attempt to do what Neil asked and keep the comments to meself. I can see Neil eyeing me from the side; I just give him a smile. He frowns; probably figures I'm already up to no good.

A posh looking bird comes to greet us. She's already looking Paul over; doesn't matter, he's still off in his own world oblivious to her. For now. "If you'll follow me, please." She's looking me over now. Fuck that, I know her type. They think they're better than you.

We all head down into the basement. For three hours we've got lights flashing in our eyes and a permanent cloud of powder hangs in the dressing room. We're all dying for a smoke. I can't stand Miss Prim and Proper anymore, and she can't stand me now either. Maybe it was the comment about her heels compensating for a lack of other endowments. I nudge Paul; he knows the game.

"Excuse me, Miss. Could you show me where I could step out for a smoke?" He's smiling and giving her the "_he's so cute_" act. She's too fucking stupid to realize that's all it is.

"Of course, go up the stairs and through the front lobby and out the back exit. That's the employee court yard." She smiles coyly at him.

He gives her the smile and bats his eyes saying "Thank you."

We follow him up the stairs. Finally, we can get away from this shit for a little while. We get outside and all of us light up and have a smoke. I hear a couple of kids playing on the other side of the wall. I jump up and peer over at them. It's two boys kicking a ball around the back ally. I yell down at them "Hey!"

They yell back "How's that?"

I yell back down at them "Can we play too?"

They get excited "Sure. Have you got a ball?"

I call down to them "Sorry, we don't have any."

They call back up, "Here, we can play with ours."

I look over me shoulder "Come on then" I pull meself up and jump over on the other side. The others follow like ducks in a line. We kick the ball around for almost half an hour. The kids are just happy to have someone to play with. I don't think they ever expected to play ball with a bunch of adults. Paul stops dead. I look up and see Neil standing there with his arms crossed. All of us stop. The kids stop running and look at Neil. "Do they have to leave?"

Neil smiles at them a little, "I'm afraid they have to go back to school, now" He glares at me, "Come on you lot, back over the wall with you."

We all wave to the kids. "Thanks for letting us in on your game."

"Thanks for playing, you're pretty good." They resume their endless game, we resume our endless torture.

Back inside Miss Bimbo looks smug as we all walk through the door. So much for brief freedom. Another two hours of cameras. I think they got the damn photos they needed hours ago. Neil's probably doing it to get back at me.

Finally we get to leave. Back in the car, Neil is still following along with us. I don't even know what the fuck we're supposed to be doing now. My mood gets gloomier. The others are chatting about some new song on the radio. I just close me eyes and try to relax.


	3. Part 2 The Press Reception

A Rat's Note:

Ever just had one of those days? Or rather nights… right never mind all that. At what point does shit become irrelevant? So is the Rat selfish or selfless, that's me new question. I can be both you know.

Sorry all the rambling. I am sure you are wanting to know what went on at this damned stupid reception and all. I fookin hate some reporters, they should be drug out in the street and shot some of them…

Part 2

The Reception

We no sooner come in from the photo shoot and Brain has us down in the conference room talking to people and doing interviews. I'm tired; I can tell the others are tired. I need a cigarette in a bad way. I just light one where I'm at and I don't give a flying fuck when Brian makes a face at me and shakes his head trying to tell me not to. I give him me typical stupid smile telling him I could care less. I see Paul glance at me from across the room as I take a giant swig from me bottle. He's gone before I look back again. Some bird has George cornered; probably asking some useless question like "what's your favourite color" or "does Ringo snore". I really hate that. It's a waste of time and breath. Who bloody well cares. We just say whatever comes to our minds at the moment. If the four of us can manage to get together, we'll run that kind of shit in circles around them and they don't even realize what is happening.

I smile at the thought. I walk past Ringo and elbow him in the side as I pass looking for Paul as I go. I can't see him. Ringo follows right behind me and we head toward George, still being cornered. Time for a little game; my job's to insult, Ringo's job's to stall, Georgie's job is to draw people off into a useless debate, and Paul's job's to distract. I smile again I want to give it right back to them. We get to George and I look up. "Where the fuck is Paulie?"

George answers me "I don't know. I've not seen him since we came in here. He acts like something is bothering him." He shrugs; we all know there's no use in prodding Paul. He talks when he's damn good and ready.

God, an empty headed bloke comes up and starts in on shit. "Good evening, I was wondering if you have a minute to chat?"

No, but that's beside the point. "Sure, what you want to chat about?" you bloody git.

"Well, the fans at home would like me to ask all of you some questions for them." He cocks his head aside, "Isn't there supposed to be four of you? No matter, could you please just introduce yourselves?"

He sticks a mic in our faces, "Hello, my name is John Lepper" I don't care I'm fucking with him; I've had enough of this day.

"Hello, this is George Harrison"

"Hi, I'm Ringo."

"Very good, now my first question is for Paul." He says.

"Paul's not here, right now." George answered.

"Oh yes, the missing one. Ok, my second question is for John."

I lean forward, "Yes?"

"Are the rumors true about your wife having another baby?"

I stare at him as if he's an idiot. Ringo goes to work. "Well, he already has a son, perhaps that's what you're in reference too?"

George chimes in "Wouldn't it be difficult to have another right now? Being on the road all the time like."

Side stepped. Fucker falls for it hook line and sinker. "I don't know. Anything is possible isn't it?"

"Well not really if you don't have time for it." George keeps him on the line and I just back off.

I can hear Ringo add "I'd like a family someday when I have the time." The fellas are giving me a chance to get away. I take it.

I get in the lift and there's a maid in it I hear her suck air in though she's not saying anything to me. I smile, she's not going crazy so I turn and ask her how she's doing. "Evening. How are you tonight?"

Her eyes light up. She smiles bashfully and answers almost too quiet to hear. It's a pleasant change from the noisy birds. "I'm fine Mr. Lennon. How are you tonight?"

"Aside from stupid reporters, I'm gear, luv." I take the pen from her uniform pocket and some kind of card she's got in it. "What is your name?" I ask her.

Her mouth is hanging open and she stammers "Adella"

I scribble on the back of the card, "_To Adella, you're a very pretty bird, Luv John Lennon_" and hand it back to her, she giggles as the lift doors open and I turn and give her a quick peck on the cheek. I wave to her as the door closes then turn and walk off down the hall toward me room.


	4. Part 3 Later That Evening

A Rat's Note:

You ever find something you've been lookin for all your existence and it's right there in front of you? And still the question is, is the Rat selfless or selfish? I want something so fucking bad but that would mean taking it away from others. I acted selfless once. I'm not sure I could do it again.

Part 3

Later That Evening

I'm taking me time and not walking especially fast when me ears catch the faintest of sounds and I stop dead in me tracks. Is that what I think it is? I strain me ears; it is. I sort of follow it down the hall several steps and stop again. Some bird is crying, I can hear it but I've not figured out where she is yet. Maybe it's one of the maids or a girl's gotten lost on our floor or something. I follow it straight to… Paul's room's door. Bloody great, some bird's gotten herself locked in his room and can't get out.

I look in through the keyhole to see if I can see her. I don't see anything but I can hear it. Soft, and a little whiney then I shift me head around. I can't believe what I am seeing. That ain't no fuckin bird. I immediately try the knob. Imagine that, it's locked. I am really worried. Here's me missing band mate and also me best mate crying like this. I kick the knob. Fuck not messing shit up, there is something wrong here. I have to kick it several times before I get it off at the same time it sounds like wood breaking. I shove me way into his room and kick what's left of a chair he had jammed under the knob out of the way. He's looking at me with an expression you see in an animal's eyes when they're caught in your headlamps.

I shove the broken chair back in front of the door and walk over to sit on the edge of his bed. He won't even look up at me. Something is very fucking wrong here. I sit down on the floor with him and put an arm around him thinking it's gotta be that Jim died or worse his brother. Why else would he be crying?

It shocks the hell out of me when he leans against me and snakes his hands under me jacket and around me back. He lets out the most mournful sob I've ever heard in me life and that's done it. I instinctively wrap me arms around him and pull him up close to me as if he were some sweet little bird and whisper, "Shh, you're alright Johnnie's got ya. I'm here, Paulie." I run me fingers through his hair trying to calm him down. His crying is breaking me heart. I can't stand it. He only curls up closer to me. "It's alright, Baby, Johnnie's here now. I got ya luv." He just cries harder every time I say I'm here. What in bloody hell is going on with him I wonder? I lean down and nuzzle the top of his head. I feel a shiver run through his whole body. For the first time, he's looking up at me with those big gorgeous eyes and I stare into them as a shock wave hits me.

Oh my god. My heart and soul start to burn. I look at him as if I've only just laid eyes on him. I smile and it's genuine, "Baby, have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?" I can't help but touch his face the way I would a little bird's. He looks up looking completely shocked but finally starts to calm down. I think he's listening to me. He leans his head against me chest.

Well there's a new sensation for you Johnnie. What the bloody hell was I thinking?! I can't believe what just starts pouring out of me mouth. "Oh my god, Paulie. I am such a fucking git. Look at what has been sitting right under me nose that I've been so blind too." I can't keep me hands out of his hair and off his face back and chest. He just feels so right. He's the perfect fit for me.

I look down and realize he's almost asleep; I get another shock when I lean down and kiss the top of his head. That's it. Fuck if anyone's going to touch him again. They'll have to go through me first. I get a glint in me eyes; Paulie is mine from now on.

I have to fight the urge to scoop him up like some little birdie and carry him off to bed with me. I don't trust meself right just this moment because I want to molest him in so many ways it is disgusting. I just grab the blankets off the bed along with the pillow and cover him up on me so he's comfortable. I'll stay here all night with him if I need to.

It must have been hours we've been sleeping here on the floor. A noise wakes me out of it. I slowly open me eyes and look into his face and smile. He's still sleeping all curled up between me legs and leaning against me chest. I pull the blanket up around him and shift me arm a bit. It's gone to pins and needles. Suddenly it feels like somebody is watching and I throw me head up.

Fuck all. George and Ringo are standing there staring at us. Bloody great, I stare back at them wondering what they must be thinking. They both have such cheeky grins, like they finally caught the Rat with his hand in the cookie jar. I whisper to them, "Don't tell a soul, and don't let on you know to him unless he wants to tell you, right." I rub a lock of his hair between me fingers.

Ringo just smiles an acknowledgement and turns around to walk back out. I can almost hear him mumble "Bout time." But I can't be sure. George stood there a second and laughed quietly. "It's alright you know, we've suspected it for a long time."

I whisper back as he shifts in me arms a little, "Suspected, what?"

"That he was in love with you. You're all he ever seems to think about." He grins from ear to ear as he walks out the door, "He suits ya, John."

A few minutes later he's starting to stir nuzzling against me chest. I have to laugh; he's probably off in one of his own little worlds. His eyes fluttering light up me soul. He opens them slowly and realizes it's really happening.

He tries to get up but I keep him right where he is. "John, look just let me up. We'll just pretend none of this ever happened."

I'm not letting go of this for all the money in the world, "What if I'm not willing to forget about it?" He's trying to get away from me; he's scared and I can tell.

"John come on, let go of me. Nobody ever has to know." He's bracing and pushing against the wall trying to get away.

I'm not having it. I stand up pulling him with me. I've had enough of the nonsense. I've played nice Johnnie all night. He ain't ever getting away from me again. I scoot toward the bed. He starts panicking. Fuck, I get it. He thinks I'm about to force meself on him. He's right, but not how he thinks.

I sit him down on the edge of his bed and take me shirt off, and then I take his off but he's not fighting me about it, just sort of looks shocked. I lay down and pull him on top of me.

He asks in a sort of shaky voice, "What are you doing?"

I answer, "Trying to sleep and since you made my night hell by sleeping on the floor you're punishment's going to be laying here next to me while I sleep on something comfortable, Cupcake." He looks a little confused but doesn't try to get away from me anymore. I grab the blanket from the floor and cover both of us.

He is very timid. I think he's listening to me breathe barely moving an inch. At this point I'm telling you the feeling was unlike anything I'd ever felt in me life. His bare skin touching mine was like setting a match to petrol. It felt different than having a bare skinned woman touch you. Fuck the blanket, I kick it off. He glances up ay me unsure. I reach down and run me fingers through his hair and both of us settle down. I feel his unsure fingers gliding over me chest before both of us are out like a light again.


	5. Part 4 Morning and Evening Again

From the Rat:

I have a question for everyone reading this. Is the Rat selfless or selfish? Let me know what you think.

Part 4

Morning and Evening … Again

I slowly open me eyes again. I feel around the bed. It's empty; me heart skips a beat. For a second, I think he's gone. I look around the room and realize the balcony door is open and he's just sitting there looking out at the sea. He looks so perfectly peaceful and beautiful, I smile. I get up and walk out to sit with him. His mind has wandered off again. I'd give anything to know what goes on in his mind when he gets like this. I notice a silent tear run down his blushing cheek. A twinge of hurt stabs me heart. I don't want to see him cry anymore.

I ask, "What's wrong Paulie? Tell Johnnie what's bothering you, Luv." What he has to say floors me.

"It's you John. I've loved you since I first saw you playing that day back in July of 57. I've never had the courage to tell you." He looks mortified, like he's just confessed his to worst sin.

I lean against him and take out me comb, I run it through his hair. Then I gently turn him to face me and wipe the tears off his beautiful little cheeks. "Here, stop all this crying nonsense, you're gonna start me crying again." I don't even know how I got so close to him. I'm nose to nose with him. I can tell he's searching me eyes for answers I think. I give him me answer. I go for the kiss. Slow soft, and then he whines like a love sick little girl. Fuck. What is he doing to me head?

I give up trying to control meself at this point. I wrap my arms around him still sitting outside on the balcony and kiss him as if me life were going to end in the next few seconds. It pretty much has. I want no one else, and I _really_ want Paulie right now. I pull him up with me and drag him back inside. He doesn't show the slightest hint of fear or uncertainty. I know what he bloody well wants and he's wanting it as much as I do right now.

I've got him back on his bed now pinned under me. His face is flushed. I feel like I'm gonna burn up from the inside out. I want to watch his face as we do this the first time. He throws his head back and makes all of these wonderfully beautiful little girly noises. I must be the luckiest person alive to have something so special and grand. He's all wrapped around me and I couldn't stop right now for anything in the world. I'm grateful there's nobody on this floor right now but us because I want to hear him moan. His voice is making me crazy, I nip his neck and whisper to him, "I love this song, Baby. We're gonna have to sing it more often."

He bites me ear lobe and whispers back, "Anything for you. You can do whatever you want to me, Johnnie."

His words drive me over the edge and I groan "Sing the high note for me Baby" He does and both of us give over to it.

I'm frozen where I'm at panting waiting for me senses to return and when they do I see the world in an entirely different way. I lean down and kiss his lips lightly; me best mate and now me lover. I crossed that line, there's no going back now and I'll have it no other way. I sweep the hair out of his eyes and settle next to him. I kiss his eyes and whisper. "Is my little birdie satisfied?"

He blushes like nothing else and mumbles, "Yes I am. Are you happy?"

I nuzzle his ear making him giggle. I love that sound. "Baby, I could not get any happier. I am the luckiest man alive."

He looks right in me eyes, "Why is that?"

I kiss his nose and smile half way singing as I kiss him all over his face, "Cause I'm the one that won your love."

He giggles again and I just whisper, "Everyone is gonna be green with envy, I won the most eligible Beatle bachelor."

More little giggles, "Stop saying that."

I lay me head on the pillow, "I can't, It's true my beautiful little Bird." He licks me chest. I have to laugh it's so unexpected.

He lays his head right over me heart and says, "I love you Johnnie Winston Lennon."

I drape an arm over him and tell him "James Paul McCartney, I love you too and I have no intent of sharing you with anybody. If you're mine your mine Baby."

He smiles and whispers back "I'm yours till I die Johnnie." And then he licks me chest again.

I tap him on the ear, "Hey, stop that." He just giggles and does it again.

Suddenly his stomach makes the most god awful rumble. I look down at him concerned and he just blushes again. I love that. He can't hide a fucking thing; it's true he embarrasses too easily. "When was the last time you ate yesterday?"

"The apple you gave to me at breakfast." He answers looking right in me eyes.

I smile; good he's not even thinking about or trying to lie to me. "Right." I get up and he just lays there kind of whining. I know he doesn't want to move or spoil what we've been doing but he needs to eat something good. "Come on, you."

He just lays there and sort of whines some more. I'm not having it. I slap his arse so hard it almost echos around the room. He makes this really cute sounding yelp out of pure shock but jumps up staring at me slack jawed.

I smile, "Well now, there's a good lad." I joke laughingly. I pick up my clothes and redress meself while he does the same.

"What are we doing then?" he asks with a smile. God, he's blushing again.

"I'm taking you out to make sure you get something good for dinner." I pull my jacket back on and look back at him.

He's just standing there half way frowning. "I don't need you to get me something to eat. I can get me own dinner."

I stop and sweep my fingers over his face. "I know you can, Baby. I just want to give you everything you deserve to have. Everything we always dreamed about as kids and never in a million years figured we'd ever actually get. I want to take you out, even if it just looks like to best mates having a good time. A least you and I will know, and it can be our secret."

He just stands there and blushes harder. I grab his hand and pull the messed up door open and start down the hall with him in tow. George is standing there with a massive cheeky grin and asks, "Hey, where are you two going then?"

I don't even stop I just shout back to him, "On a date."

I hear him laugh and yell back, "Well, have fun then!"

We step into the lift when the doors open. I look at Paulie, he looks like he's daydreaming again. I reach out and rub his arm. He jumps. I ask, "You alright Luv?"

He looks at me and smiles saying, "I don't know what to do or think. I'm just trying to sort it out in me head."

My heart skips a beat. For what seems a bloody eternity I'm standing there trying to decide if that means he's flat rejecting me. Finally I muster the courage to ask, "Do you want it?"

He gives me the answer my soul is hoping for, "John, I want it more than anything in the world. I don't know how to go about it, but we'll manage." He's looking in me eyes, "As long as you love me, I'll be alright. How do you feel, Mr. Lennon?"

"For the first time in me life, I feel alright. Thanks to you, Paulie." I lean over and kiss him again. Hell we're in a lift who can bloody see in this box?

Neither of us notice the lift stopped or the sound of the doors opening. We both hear a whole bunch of stuff hitting the floor though. Both of us jump surprised by the sudden noise and getting caught kissing each other. Neil and Mal are standing there jaws on the floor for just a second. Then they shove their way in and force Paul and I apart.

Neil is mad as a hornet and tries to control his temper. He grabs Paul by the arm and shoves him into the corner away from me, "What in bloody hell do you two think you are doing?!"

Paul just stands there beet red in the face and stutters unable to speak. Neil turns on him instantly, I guess figuring he'd be an easier first target. "I can't believe you'd let him corrupt you like this, you should be ashamed of yourself, Paul."

I pull Paul close to me so Neil can't grab him again. How dare he touch him like that, "If you ever touch him like that again I'll break your face and he don't need you telling him to be ashamed of himself either. He's the most beautiful part of me life and you're not ruining that!"

Neil looks like he could murder me, "You're really pushing my buttons Lennon!" He waves his finger at me, "Just what kind of game are you on with him?"

Paul looks up at Neil, I can tell he's angry. "Hey, I'm the guilty one Neil!"

Neil glares at him, "No offense Paul, but I don't believe it. I don't know what he's done to you but I won't stand for it."

Paul turns around, but not before I catch all the hurt, and anger in his eyes. He kicks the lift wall so hard it leaves a dent in it. All of us stand there speechless and shocked at his outburst. He spins around the hurt evident on his face, "Has it occurred to any of you that maybe, just maybe I LOVE JOHN?!"

The lift doors open and he bolts. I damn near knock Mal over darting after him, but Neil grabs me arm holding me back. I look up just in time to see him going out the front doors. I turn back to Neil red faced with anger, "You caused this! You just assume you fucking know everything! If anything happens to him I'm going to kill your fucking arse!" And right now they get to see a part of me I thought was good and buried. I don't care how Brian dresses us up, George, Paul, and I are still just a gang of teddy boys underneath it all; and I meant every word of that threat.

Neil knows I mean it. Mal, always a friend, lays a hand on me shoulder and tells me, "We'll bring him back John. He can't have gone far."

Inside, I feel empty. I stare at the door and worry if he's ok; he don't pay any attention to where he's going and he's all by himself. None of us have gone anywhere without one of the others with us in so long it feels strange to not. I just think, '_if anything happens to him there'll be no stopping me_'.


	6. Part 5 The Quest For Paul

The Rat's Notes:

Well, how are you enjoying this crap so far? Or am I writing all this down for naught?

Part 5

The Quest For Paul

Neil and I drive around for a couple of hours looking for my lost Paulie. My mood has swung from the ultimate of highs, to the lowest irritable of moods. I keep making threats at Neil about what I am going to do to him if anything at all happens to Paul. I look up at the sky through the car window; it's not looking good. It looks like it is going to rain any second.

"Neil, it's going to start raining and then what?" I look up at him and I guess he can see the worry in me eyes. "He ain't got a coat, he ain't got an umbrella, and he ain't got a hat either."

Neil sighs, "Then we'll just have to find him before it does." I think he's starting to feel guilty for what he did to both of us. He mutters to himself, "I just can't believe it."

"Well you're going to if I don't find him soon, it's making me crazy!" I yell. I've been teetering on the verge of losing control for the last couple of hours. Bloody fucking hell, there's the rain. I look at Neil frantic.

"Calm down John, we'll find him." He says to me.

How the hell can I bloody calm down? He's out there all alone, in the fucking rain. He ain't in any of the clubs, nor any of the pubs we've passed. I start thinking all kinds of shit; he's been kidnapped or his body is laying in some gutter… Me eyes catch a glimpse of a figure sitting on a bench. "Stop" I say. I am trying me best to see, I even have me glasses on. Bloody hell… why are we still moving? "Stop this fucking car right now!" I yell. Driver immediately pulls to the curb.

Neil's looking around everywhere, "What is it? Do you see him?"

I don't even answer, I just calmly get out of the car and walk over in the pouring rain and sit down next to him. I put me arm around him and he crumbles into me sobbing. I want to fucking kill all over again. Instead I whisper "It's alright Paulie, I'm here Baby."

He just mumbles to me "I cold and tired. I'm not even hungry any more, John. All I want to do is go back to the hotel."

I stand up with him in tow and gently get back into the car. He's curled up on the seat with his head in me lap. I cover him with Neil's coat since mine's soaked now. I glare at Neil again but turn my attention to Paul, who is shivering. "This is your fault. Look at the mess he is because of your backward comments, Neil."

Neil starts talking. "Ok, it's obvious that he needs you John, but for god's sake you've got to keep it _quiet_. There are so many people who depend on all of you and they will turn away if they find out about it. You don't need that. _HE_ doesn't need that."

I am upset again. It sounds like our happiness for theirs. "I don't fucking care about them; if anyone hurts him again I will fucking break them in two!" and that my friends is not a threat, that is a deadly promise.

Neil shakes his head looking at Paul curled up on me. "I still can't believe it. I'd have expected it from just about anyone but you, Paul."

I smile at what comes out of me little birds mouth, "He's me life."

I think he's out of it. I just keep threading me fingers through his hair all the way back as Neil and I have a _talk_ about things.

"Do George and Ringo know? No that's a stupid question, you lot tell each other everything." Neil asks a bit nervous.

"They knew he was in love with me before I did." I answer.

Neil looks at me as if it's the stupidest statement he's ever heard. I shrug. "I didn't know till last night and mostly this morning. That's why we spent all day together in his room." Well that didn't exactly come out right.

Neil just stares at me "I don't want to know Lennon. 'I'm just assuming you weren't writing songs like Ringo and George said."

I just give him a cheeky grin. He looks away and shakes his head again. "What if we go back to putting you lot two to a room again? That would stop all the sneaking about and less likely someone would notice."

"Sounds alright to me, but it has to be ok with the fellas too." I smile at Neil for the first time in hours.

"I'm sure they'll agree. If not, maybe we can get rooms with a door between." He's just talking to himself now, trying to work out how he can manage all of us and keep us happy along with the fans, backers, producers, ect… I sort of feel bad for him. All we have to do is be ourselves and play music and wanker off; he has to deal with upset and pushy people.

I look at Neil and say, "I'm sorry I broke the knob off of Paul's door."

He looks at me, "You did what?"

I give him a cheeky smile. He puts his head in his hands and shakes it.

"I broke a chair too." I confess.

"What on earth for?!" He says exasperated.

I look down at a sleeping Paul and tell him the truth he may as well know now, "He locked the door and shoved a chair against it. I had to break into his room."

Neil looks at Paul, "Right never mind, I'll take care of it. But no more destruction you hear me? You two get this thing under control and keep it out of the public."

We pull up to the hotel. It's still pouring. There are several people in the lobby. I wake Paul up. "Hey, Cupcake." I shake him lightly, "You have to get up."

I give a half laugh, Neil looks like he's going to throw up. Paul sits up and looks groggy. "Right, I'm wake."

Neil looks at me, "You two act as if you've had too much to drink and I think we can pull this off."

He's right, Paul looks like fucking hell, and I'm not much better. Neil gets out looking angry like. Paul scoots out the car and just kind of wobbles a bit. I laugh to meself; he does look like a drunk. I get out and slip an arm around him as he does me. I start singing, a little off key after I give Neil me stupid grin. "It feels so right now hold me tight…"

Paul chimes in "Tell me I'm the only one…"

Both of us wreck it together as we walk through the lobby amid a few smiling and blushing giggling girls pointing at us, "And then I might, Never be the lonely one…"

We get to the lift and step inside still singing to each other, but for all the world looking like a pair of drunks, "So hold… hold… me tight… me tight… tonight… tonight… It's you, you you you oooo oooo…"

Neil shakes his head at us, just sort of laughing, "You two are just bonkers. I don't know what you see in him, Paul."

He just starts up singing and then I'm laughing now too, "We'll she was just seventeen, You know what mean, and the way she looked was way beyond compare… so how could I dance with another, when I saw her standing there."

The light goes on in me head as he keeps singing. "Well she looked at me, and I, I could see… that before too long I'd fall in love with her… she wouldn't dance with another Ooo… when I saw her standing there…"

The lift stops and I keep dragging him down the hall toward me room, now I'm fucking blushing. "Well my heart went boom when I crossed that room and I played twenty flight rock for her…" He's fucking sing about the damn day we met.

He just keeps getting louder. "I taught him how to tune his guitar cause it sounded like crap being played like a banjo…"

Neil looks at me and gestures at him, "What in bloody hell is he going on about?"

I must look so embarrassed because Neil starts laughing, "Is he singing about you?!"

I look at Neil and give him a cheeky grin and when I get to me door I look around to see if anyone else is around and then kiss Paul full on right in front of him.

His jaw hits the floor. "Just get him in there and then I don't want to hear another peep from either of you the rest of the night, you hear me?"

"Sure thing, Neil." I disappear into me room with me new little birdie.


	7. Part 6 This Boy

A Rat's Note:

Sorry it's been a few days for this one. I had some issues to take care of. So here you are. Let me know what ya think, eh. I'm not keep writing this if nobody really wants to read this crap.

Part 6

This Boy

I got my Paulie over to me bed and sit him down on it. I rubbed a towel over his wet mop of hair which was then all out in every direction. I have to laugh. God, I love this man who has so totally taken over me heart. I never thought that would be possible. I pull all of his soggy wet clothing off and he just sits there and lets me do whatever I want with him.

"I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble, John." He whispers.

I lift his chin and smile. "I don't want to hear that crap. You didn't cause all that Neil did. But it'll be alright, we'll sort it. You're gonna stay with me, Sweetheart." I comb through his hair for the second time today. I joke with him "This isn't going to become a habit is it?"

He smiles and shrugs "I dunno, I sortta like it."

I pull me own clothing off and sit back on the bed with me back to the wall and pat me lap. He crawls over to me and sit on me lap straddling me hips. I run me hands over his bare back causing him to shiver. "Here you're cold what. Get up a second" He stands up and I slip me legs under the blankets and then hold them up so he can sit back down where he was. I drape the blankets over him and he leans against me chest. "You scared me today, Paulie." I sweep the bangs out of his eyes.

"I didn't mean to worry you, Johnnie." He sits up a little looking me straight in the eyes.

"Shh." I lay me finger over his lips. "I know you didn't. But while I was looking for you all I could think about was getting you back. I was afraid something had happened to you, and I could handle it if it had. I don't want to lose you. I love you."

He looks at me with those big dreamy eyes of his and whispers, "I love you too." To my surprise, he leans forward and kisses me.

I sweep me arms around him and give it right back. He's become me secret little bird and only a handful know the truth. I break our kiss and pull him close to me. "I've had this tune stuck in me head all day and I've been kicking this song around with it. It's about you."

He looks at me with bright eyes like a kid at Christmas, "You wrote me a song?"

I smile at him, "I did. You want to hear it?" I tap his nose.

He giggles, "I do. They're not gonna come in here and yell at us to shut up are they?" He's talking about Neil and Mal.

I laugh, "No, but if they do I'll just tell them to fuck off."

He smiles and looks into me eyes again. "I wanna hear it Johnnie."

I grab me acoustic from the stand where it's at beside the bed. "It's not complete yet but this is what I've been thinking." I start strumming and he is listening intently. He looks mesmerized by the sound. It makes me feel warm inside to see this side of Paul that not another living soul gets to look at.

He blinks when I get done playing it. "Can I hear the lyrics for it?"

I touch his lips and then whisper, "Sure." I cup his cheeks and look deep in his soft beautiful eyes and start singing from the bottom of me heart.

"That boy took my love away.

Though he'll regret it someday

This boy wants you back again.

That boy, isn't good for you

Though he may want you too,

This boy wants you back again.

Oh and this boy,

Would be happy,

Just to love you.

But oh my, that boy,

Won't be happy,

Till he's seen you cry.

This boy, wouldn't mind the pain

Would always feel the same

If this boy, gets you back again"

He just stares at me. I don't know what to think and it starts making me a little insecure. "Well what do you think about it?"

"My God, You can be one of the most amazing people I know of Johnnie." He kisses me deep and fleeting. "I love that. It's just beautiful. Your voice is beautiful."

I laugh quietly at him, "It's not much, but that's how I feel, Cupcake"

"I wanna hear it again." He sort of whines as be begs. I think it's cute.

"I love seeing this side of you." I rub my thumb across his lips, "It's like you've got this adorable little girl trapped deep inside and no one be me gets to know it's there."

He blushes to a deep scarlet colour, "Only for you. Anyone else and I'd cripple them. Can I please hear that song again?"

"Sure" this time I play and sing it at the same time. He's gone to putty in me hands. When I get done this time I put the guitar back on its stand and scoot down to lay down. He's lying on top of me still straddling me hips. I drag me fingers lightly all over his bare skin.

He mumbles "More please"

I oblige. I run me hands down over his ass and it turns me on when moans from it. I squeeze lightly, his response is locking his lips onto my neck and he starts the damn licking thing again. I mumble to him "What are you doing?"

He doesn't say anything just moans louder and then starts sucking on me neck. Whoa, you know, come to think about it, "That feels really good, Paulie." I ignore that fact that he's marking me neck.

He responds with "Mmm hmm" and then bites down a little.

"Oh shit." I moan meself now not caring if god himself hears us. That's it, he's undone me again. I flip him over and shove his shoulders down into the mattress. He whines like the sweet little princess he is inside and it just makes me more crazy. I kneel behind him and lean forward over the top of him and whisper with me lips just touching his ear, "Are you me beautiful little princess, Baby?"

He's breathing heavy answers in a sort of high pitched moan, "Uh huh, only for you Johnnie."

Me eyes light up with an unstoppable possessive lust with his words floating in me mind, '_only for you Johnnie_'. I dig me fingers into his hips "You got that right, mine and only mine, Sweetheart." I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. All I know is my brain fills up with every kind of thought imaginable all at the same fucking time as I slam that remark home. An intense low wail escapes his mouth and I just keep doing it while telling him everything trying to escape me burning brain. "I never wanna see you flirting with someone else again." God, he's singing that magical song again. I nip his ear. "No more runnin away from me either, I don't like not knowing if you're alright or not. You stay by me side, you hear me."

He whimpers like me good little birdie, "I won't, Johnnie."

Me voice gets husky and raspy like while I'm taking what is now mine; and I know in the back of me head this has to be making a lot of noise but I don't give a fuck just now, "Stray off and you'll pay for it, behave and I'll spoil you rotten, Baby. I'll give you everything."

He almost squeals, "I'm just yours, Johnnie"

He's near the high note and, fuck, so am I. I slam deep into him, "Right then, sing me the high note, Baby." He throws his head back and damn near screams as both of us give over.

Once I can think again I lay on me side and pull him close to me. I brush the damp hair out of his eyes again. He's panting coming down off the high also. I kiss his forehead and can't help but smile at him. "Honey, you are just so beautiful and you sing so pretty." I kiss his eyes.

I kiss his lips and he finally calms down enough to speak "I'll sing for you every night if you want me too."

I touch his cheeks with me finger tips, "I really meant all that other stuff too, cupcake. I love you and don't intend to share with anyone."

He smiles sleepily and all mumbly "I don't want nobody else." His stomach growls again.

I tell him, "We're taking care of that first thing in the morning."

He mumbles and slurs an Ok before going out like a light. I lightly kiss his lips and then join him in dream land still holding him close.


End file.
